During the month of February, we celebrate and focus our attention on relationships. Relationships are a critical part of our personal and professional lives, and they influence us in many ways. Relationships contribute to our sense of satisfaction, self regard, and balance.

In simple terms, the essence of relationships is the ability to give and receive. As a result, our communication skills are implicitly linked to the quality of our relationships; better communication skills = better relationships.

The first step in communicating effectively is learning to receive the message, i.e. listen. As simple as it sounds, so many people fail to listen fully, leaving the speaker feeling dejected, insignificant and/or frustrated. The goal in listening is to glean an understanding of the speaker's message. Attaining this goal takes focus, attention, and an open mind. Additionally, listening requires us to hear with our eyes as well as our ears. Picking up on nonverbal communication, tone, and other nuances is essential in interpreting what the speaker really means.

The second step in communicating effectively is learning to send the message effectively. Like listening, speaking effectively is not as simple as it sounds. Speaking requires us to put our thoughts into clear chunks of information that can be easily understood by our audience. Long diatribes can cause the listener to become tired, lose interest and shift focus, resulting in a communication breakdown. In addition, speaking candidly can be very difficult.

Many times we hold ourselves back by engaging in self-doubt and fear. Before speaking we may think to ourselves: What if this sounds stupid, What if I am wrong? What if I am giving them information they already know? Expressing oneself fully means mustering up the courage to potentially sound foolish or repeat information that our listener(s) may already know. In addition, it means honoring our feelings, opinions, and knowledge. By holding back, we deny others the opportunity to learn from us and grow. By speaking your truth, you give the listener material to work with. From there, s/he has the choice to agree, disagree, or just accept what you have said.

Relationships work when we balance speaking candidly and listening fully. When communication is based on openness, mutual respect, and good intentions, each participant feels accepted and validated. Effective communication skills allow us to share agreements and disagreements. They also enable us to solve conflicts and celebrate accomplishments. As a result, our relationships are nurtured and enhanced.

See my Simple Solutions page for Tips on Communicating Effectively!