Flirting is an art. Just like humor. Anyone can learn it as we all have the innate ability to speak that way. It is a level of communication women adore but most men do not utilize to their advantage.

Flirting, sexual innuendos, "sexy" talk, are simply ways to communicate sexually with someone you are attracted to, without being crass or rude. It's all context, and believe me you can get away with a LOT.

Speaking in this way is a natural language skill. The more you practice the better you get. When a woman hears a man speak seductively, her imagination starts to "imagine" the underlying significance of what he says. Women are mostly turned on by emotional stimuli, whereas men by logical stimuli - when we see an attractive woman we are immediately stimulated, but women are different. Women are more susceptible to the effects of language based stimulation, and this is evident in the number of romance novels that are sold every year!

I am not saying that speaking romantically is the only way to go. But, a combination of romantic talking, humor, and even a touch of boldness can be quite powerful.

The art of flirting is essentially being able to recognize linguistic "opportunites" to steer the conversation in a more flirtatious direction. Asking a woman how her day went can lead into "sexy" talk just as easily as her asking for driving directions.

For example,

Him: have you ever dated an italian?
Her: no...but there's always a first time
Him: and a second, third, forth
Her: and fifth, sixth,..
Him: and then you take a break because you're out of energy


Her: you don't know what you're up against
Him: That may be true, which is why I'll need a closer look
Him: I like to look real close by the way
Her: giggle


Him: what are you up to?
Her: I was just about to hop in the shower
Him: looks like I caught you just in time then

Communication like this is intriguing since you are communicating interest but with finesse. You're subtle enough to intrigue her but also obvious enough to get "caught". Men who speak in this way are usually very attractive to women, because they can penetrate her mind with words. Also, on an even deeper level, it demonstrates that you must be a good lover since you speak so confidently.

Flirting is a natural language skill because your mind naturally grows towards it the more you practice. Seeing examples are good because it allows you to see what it actually is, so that you have a good reference.

Give it a shot. Go talk to some women. Ask them how their day went and take it from there.

Copyright 2005 Vittorio Norman