At one point in your life or another Im sure youve heard horror stories about the stress of planning a wedding and perhaps even about the dreaded post honeymoon stage of a relationship. Dont worry, it doesnt have to be true for you if you make a conscious effort to remember that a relationship is a place you go to give. So when you find yourself preparing the "big day" leading to the moment you say I do, remember to keep the wedding planning in perspective. Dont become overly consumed with how you can make your wedding day "perfect"--remember to enjoy the process. Think of ways you can give your partner more attention, and eliminate as much stress as you can from the equation. Isnt it perfect enough that youve found each other and agreed to spend the rest of your lives together?

The stress of the wedding can be like that rock in your shoe while youre strolling through the beautiful country, demanding all your attention and time, and keeping the two of you from enjoying each other and tending to your relationship. Keep in mind to plan past the wedding, not just up to the big day. There will certainly be more to your life than having put this wedding together. Yes, the wedding day is important, but more importantly, in the larger picture of your life, the wedding is only the beginning of your life as a married couple--it is not the main substance that creates a long, healthy relationship. What creates a long, healthy relationship is what you do after you say I do.

Like married couples everywhere, you may find yourself pressured by the demands of daily life: work, children, finances, household chores and commitments to extended family. When the pressure is on, always remember what brought the two of you together in the first place. This will help you to not take each other for granted, which can often happen after two people have been together for a long time. This does not mean the love is fading, but it does mean that there is lack of effort. People tend to get lazy after a while, because they feel comfortable and safe. This problem can be solved when both people are willing to make the time and effort.

Nurturing your relationship, enhancing it, and keeping it flourishing takes time, which is all too precious for many couples. Just because something is not urgent doesnt mean its not important. So take the time to have a regular daily chat, turn off the TV and the cell phone and sit together for a short time, uninterrupted and face-to-face, every day to share your thoughts and feelings. Tell each other the little details as well as the big news. Focusing on each other for as little as fifteen minutes a day can make a huge difference. You will both feel appreciated and heard.

Meet at the park for a walk, treat each other to a movie, have a bubble bath, have brunch at a cozy caf, steal each other from work and have a quiet lunch, rendezvous after work for a drink and an appetizer before dinner, commute together if at all possible, dance in your kitchen. Whether youre dining out or having a picnic dinner on the living room floor, make it special. It doesn't have to be expensive, just generous. The anticipation of a planned evening or activity can be fun and exciting, even if (especially if) you've been together for a long time. By making a date, you'll set aside the special time your relationship deserves and consistently rediscover the romance that started it all.

Everyone is independent in their own beliefs and ideas about things, so dont expect a person to always see things your way. Thats why patience is golden to a healthy relationship. There are times when your partner will not respond in a way that is pleasing to you, but this does not mean you have to take it personally. Always slow down, take a deep breath and think of reasons why your partner may be acting a certain way. Assuming and jumping to conclusions is always an unhealthy step to take because it shows your partner that they are not entitled to act freely. It shows that you automatically assume the worst of them and this can cause them to feel attacked. Give your partner some time and let them know that you will be there for them when they are ready to talk.

You are the result of the choices youve made so far. So remember to appreciate each other for the fact that your past thoughts, words and actions have led you both to one another. You found each other to inspire one another to be even finer and more joyful than you would have been alone. So dont wait till special occasions like birthdays or Valentine's day to get romantic--dont stop the flowers, surprise gifts, love notes, spontaneous adventures, hours of talking and, you know, that other stuff. Use romance as a way of making the "everyday" exciting. It doesn't take a lot of money or effort--just a willingness to commit to making your relationship special by paying attention to it. Just because youre now married does not mean you have to stop dating each other.