Sooner or later, your marriage might need help. That should not be thought of as defeat or failure - after all, human relationships are notoriously difficult, and admitting that you need marriage help is the first step to getting it. There is nothing to be gained by being in denial about marriage problems.

Marriages need help for one of several reasons. First, the couple might have been incompatible from the beginning of the marriage. That doesn't mean that love isn't there - there might well be both love and other overarching reasons why the couple are together, and the basic incompatibility might have been masked for a long time. Over time, the marriage starts to fall apart, and you wonder why. It's important to be honest with yourself and define your personal and relationship goals.

Couples who are compatible with one another are also just as likely to need marriage help from time to time. Sometimes life gets busy, and we forget to leave time for each other. That's one of the easiest ways to lose touch, and it's particularly likely to happen to couples who both have busy careers, or who have recently had children. Ironically, just at the times when people need each other the most, they may find themselves drifting apart. It is possible to actually lose your ability to talk to your partner, just through lack of practice. The loss doesn't have to be permanent, though. With counseling and other marriage help, communication can be mended. Just setting aside a time to talk on a regular basis can help a lot.

If one partner in a marriage is facing a serious problem or issue - for example, an illness, loss of a job, or the death of a parent - it an present a problem for the marriage. Of course, we all want to support our partners in these times of need - but we might not always know how. Marriage help is accessible and usually effective, though you might need to 'shop around' for the right counselor or therapist. This shouldn't be a daunting process - check your local psychological association directory, or ask your family doctor for a few names. Feel free to 'interview' a therapist or counselor before you decide to work with them. Finding marriage help might be the most important thing you ever do for yourself and your family.