I just happened upon an article that entices us to speak about customer transactions as experiences.

Suddenly, I feel Im emerging from a time capsule, back to the 1960s (most of which really happened in the 70s according to people who were there.)

Everybody is barefoot, dangling love beads, and singing If you come to San Francisco, wear a flower in your hair!

Im a little uptight, in my London tailored suit, custom shirt and way too conservative necktie.

This doesnt go unnoticed by the hippie chick that has been giving me the eye; or is she really scowling? I cant tell; maybe its this funny Kool-Aid they gave me when I sat on the grass

(Is my tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth?)

Anyway, she says, Relax, man; just groove behind THE EXPERIENCE!

Wow, suddenly, I kid you not, that rock group starts playing that song from The Jimi Hendrix EXPERIENCE!

Coincidence?

I dont think so, man, like everything is this groovy EXPERIENCE!

Like, man, like have you ever EXPERIENCED anything like that!

Customer service has been invaded by throwbacks from the psychedelic, Peter Max, paisley painted, VW Microbus universe.

Their rhetoric is ridiculous because it disserves our understanding. They speak of customer relationships as if were courting, sparking, marrying, and divorcing people who are buying light bulbs and widgets from us.

Wrong, were exchanging value for value, and its not like LOVE, MAN!

Its about THE MONEY!

These are commercial transactions, first, last, and always.

So, can we just drop off these relics who use 60s-speak as if it were real, and get on with the business of the 21st century?